Цитата из книги «Разум в огне. Месяц моего безумия» Сюзанна Кэхаланпоказать все Добавить
I cringe when I recall these interactions, since my mom and I had always been inseparable, and I can only imagine how much it must have hurt her. I realize that I was still holding tightly on to an amorphous grudge against her for reasons that seem so meritless now. Though the hospital was a blur, residual anger from that time remained somewhere in my subconscious. Somehow I had convinced myself that she hadn’t spent enough time with me in the hospital, though this was neither fair nor true. On some level, her suffering, which she had buried so deeply, had begun to drain out of her unconsciously and onto me. The worst part was that the struggle didn’t end once the hospital stay was over; now she had to live with this hostile stranger, her own daughter, who had once been one of her closest friends. But instead of sympathizing with her pain, which certainly matched and may have even surpassed my own, I took her suffering as an affront—a sign that she could not handle how flawed the sickness had made me.
Сюзанна Кэхалан по крупицам извлекала из памяти события, случившиеся с ней во время болезни, брала интервью у лечивших ее врачей, родных и близких людей. Прочитала тысячу страниц медицинских отчетов, просмотрела несколько сотен обрывков видеозаписей из своей палаты… и все для того, чтобы ВСПОМНИТЬ, как она однажды сошла с ума…